07.17.08
Should I Hook Up With My Ex?
Dear BeThree,
I’ve recently become friends again with my ex and have been tempted to hook up with him even though we’re not together. Is having s*ex with your ex such a bad thing? – Sasha, Burlington, VT
Been there, done that. But please – do as we say, not as we do. We took your question straight to Tasha Dimling, professional Love Coach, for her take on getting it on with your ex:
He’s Your Ex For a Reason: Remember, you decided to split up based on some valid reasons. Or, maybe the relationship was just not meant to be at the time. Regardless, “as long as you have s*ex with your ex, you’re blocking Mr. Right from coming in,” advises Tasha. “So ask yourself, what do I really want?”
Repeat Offender: We bet you’re wondering, but what if I want to get back with my ex? Let us repeat - do NOT have s*ex with your ex. “If you broke up with him, and you’re considering being with him again, take the time to be sure he’s who you really want,” says Tasha. Otherwise, it’ll spell heartbreak all over again.
S*ex = Complex: S*ex with your ex can make things complicated emotionally and can confuse quality decision-making. Listen to Tasha who says, “If he broke up with you, he needs to treat you how you are meant to be treated and earn your trust back - before you become intimate.”
Still wiping tears and listening to your breakup mix in complete misery over a recent ex? Read a few pages from It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy, a guide on how to break through your breakup. Here’s to finding love (and lust) with the man you really want. Amen!
I’ve recently become friends again with my ex and have been tempted to hook up with him even though we’re not together. Is having s*ex with your ex such a bad thing? – Sasha, Burlington, VT
Been there, done that. But please – do as we say, not as we do. We took your question straight to Tasha Dimling, professional Love Coach, for her take on getting it on with your ex:
He’s Your Ex For a Reason: Remember, you decided to split up based on some valid reasons. Or, maybe the relationship was just not meant to be at the time. Regardless, “as long as you have s*ex with your ex, you’re blocking Mr. Right from coming in,” advises Tasha. “So ask yourself, what do I really want?”
Repeat Offender: We bet you’re wondering, but what if I want to get back with my ex? Let us repeat - do NOT have s*ex with your ex. “If you broke up with him, and you’re considering being with him again, take the time to be sure he’s who you really want,” says Tasha. Otherwise, it’ll spell heartbreak all over again.
S*ex = Complex: S*ex with your ex can make things complicated emotionally and can confuse quality decision-making. Listen to Tasha who says, “If he broke up with you, he needs to treat you how you are meant to be treated and earn your trust back - before you become intimate.”
Still wiping tears and listening to your breakup mix in complete misery over a recent ex? Read a few pages from It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy, a guide on how to break through your breakup. Here’s to finding love (and lust) with the man you really want. Amen!
Don’t be shy!
Sasha, sweetie.. you're confused.
If you really want to get back with this fellow, then go right ahead and sleep with him. But seriously think about it! If this is the kind of guy you think you are willing to hang out with, watch movies with, take around your friends... etc. Then you may be on the right track.
However, if all you're thinking is hanky panky, then keep the goods to yourself. If he's going to end up disappointing you as a companion, then you'll look back on it as one of those "I can't believe I let that loser sleep with me again" situations. This may lead to drinking, over eating, lashing out at friends, or venting to office fish. All of which are terrible.
If you really want to get back with this fellow, then go right ahead and sleep with him. But seriously think about it! If this is the kind of guy you think you are willing to hang out with, watch movies with, take around your friends... etc. Then you may be on the right track.
However, if all you're thinking is hanky panky, then keep the goods to yourself. If he's going to end up disappointing you as a companion, then you'll look back on it as one of those "I can't believe I let that loser sleep with me again" situations. This may lead to drinking, over eating, lashing out at friends, or venting to office fish. All of which are terrible.
– molly | 08.08.08 | 1:43 PM
Winden left the best. comment. ever.
I'm all about going swimming! Here fishy, fishy, fishy...
I'm all about going swimming! Here fishy, fishy, fishy...
– laxer | 07.17.08 | 4:00 PM
AGREED! Do NOT do it! The passion may still be there and it may sound like a good idea at the time, but you will regret it the next morning.
– boeboe9 | 07.17.08 | 11:11 AM
All I have to say is DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For goodness sake! There are SO many BEAUTIFUL fish in the sea and let me tell you that without a doubt in my mind I say (from 1st hand experience) ditch the dude and GO SWIMMING!
– winden | 07.17.08 | 8:17 AM
