05.27.08
Cleansing Part II: Bonding With My Channels of Elimination
I love snack mix. Of course I didn’t realize this until I was five days into my first cleanse. It was Wednesday afternoon, and I was staring down the snack closet at my office. Will it matter if I have two rye crisps and a sesame stick? My willpower didn’t fail me: I satisfied my bored hunger with a swig of carrot juice and some leftover brown rice. Blech.
The previous Saturday morning, I’d popped my first dose of Renew Life’s First Cleanse, and followed the directions of taking two capsules in the morning on an empty stomach and two before bed. My diet was supposed to consist of organic fruits and veggies, whole grains like millet and vitamin-rich amaranth (a new one for me). And did I mention coffee, sugar, alcohol, meat, dairy, wheat, and practically every other food I enjoy was off limits? The grassy-smelling pills contained a couple dozen herbs to support “the channels of elimination,” which I took to mean my (ahem) ass. They also included dandelion root for my liver, nettle for my kidneys, and red clover for my skin. Ok, I get it. I’m into healing with herbs and truly testing if they work or not. Will they?
Although I had two weeks’ worth of pills, I was only doing this cleanse for a week. At first it was easy: I don’t have to have my coffee, I just really enjoy it. I like millet. I eat my fair share of leafy greens. And really, who needs red wine? My “channels of elimination” seemed normal-to-robust (I know, way TMI). But partway through my seven-day purification, I started struggling: Who wants to go to happy hour and drink tea or eat a meek dinner of amaranth and asparagus, then skip the cookie? Or, sit through a movie with distilled water instead of a Diet Coke? Is there any joy in cleansing?
On the flip side, I felt healthy and self-righteous and determined - so I stuck with it. So stick with me, and next week, you’ll find out how I fared. You placing bets yet?
-Tested by our very own Lab Lass
The previous Saturday morning, I’d popped my first dose of Renew Life’s First Cleanse, and followed the directions of taking two capsules in the morning on an empty stomach and two before bed. My diet was supposed to consist of organic fruits and veggies, whole grains like millet and vitamin-rich amaranth (a new one for me). And did I mention coffee, sugar, alcohol, meat, dairy, wheat, and practically every other food I enjoy was off limits? The grassy-smelling pills contained a couple dozen herbs to support “the channels of elimination,” which I took to mean my (ahem) ass. They also included dandelion root for my liver, nettle for my kidneys, and red clover for my skin. Ok, I get it. I’m into healing with herbs and truly testing if they work or not. Will they?
Although I had two weeks’ worth of pills, I was only doing this cleanse for a week. At first it was easy: I don’t have to have my coffee, I just really enjoy it. I like millet. I eat my fair share of leafy greens. And really, who needs red wine? My “channels of elimination” seemed normal-to-robust (I know, way TMI). But partway through my seven-day purification, I started struggling: Who wants to go to happy hour and drink tea or eat a meek dinner of amaranth and asparagus, then skip the cookie? Or, sit through a movie with distilled water instead of a Diet Coke? Is there any joy in cleansing?
On the flip side, I felt healthy and self-righteous and determined - so I stuck with it. So stick with me, and next week, you’ll find out how I fared. You placing bets yet?
-Tested by our very own Lab Lass
